In the midst of a hot and heavy moment…
“I don’t remember the last time I had sex.”
Yeah… no shit. His 45 second performance said it all…
Yowza!
3 texts from different guys, each more desperate than the next:
1. Uknown Number: Up for a “you know what”?
2. Uknown Number: Dinner Wednesday?
Girl: …Who is this?
3. Uknown Number: Hi There!
Song of the Day: Robyn- Hang With Me
The days before text messaging
Dear Self,
The next time a guy approaches me for dating, I will stop and take time to look at the signature at the bottom of his emails. If it by chance reads:
Analyst
Investment Banking
I must pause and remind myself that:
A. He thrives on the male frat mentality
B. I will never see him except during the hours of 3-6am
C. When he does emerge from the desk, he will want to get bombed and/or laid by way of boasting about his corporate card (which also doubles as a handy tool to cut lines of coke)
D. He will be completely devoid of Vitamin D because he never leaves his office and, by his own admission, a soul.
You know what they say about hindsight!
@YouHaveToBeKidding
Note: This is a (self-described) “hot” NY guy’s actual Twitter bio. We kid you not.
“Bio I’m single, I’m hot, I’m DTF. In da NYC. Tweeting about a bunch of random stuff, most of it NC-17”
Ummm. Wow. Well, thanks for putting yourself on our radar, guy. #SFAR