On three consecutive nights, three separate men tried to pick me up. One was a professional ukulele player. Another said my name at least twice in EVERY sentence he spoke. The third was a manure distributor…not sure if that means he sells manure to outlets across the region or if he actually goes outside and shovels and rakes manure.
A guy named Jordy liked his neighbor, and it seems the only thing he had to write on was the back of a McDonald’s apple pie sleeve. How charming.
For a closer look: http://imgur.com/a/91u3I
Subtitle: The Worst Excuse We’ve Heard for Unsafe Sex in the Past 7 Days
Guy: My penis doesn’t react well to condoms.
Girl: What does that mean?
Guy: It feels like it’s being suffocated…
The khakis, the polo, the sneakers, the DOUBLE DREAM HANDS!
And they say white men can’t dance.
Last week, 300 men paid actual money to go to DC and be trained by professional pickup artists at the Global Pickup Conference. Naturally, once they got to the conference they headed to the best place to pick up women: The Pentagon City Mall (where women’s pantsuits abound!) The men were told to “Prepare for Affection from EVERY direction!” but mostly they just creeped out women by hitting on them at Victoria’s Secret and got kicked out of the mall for trying to get 16 years olds numbers at Macy’s (unless they paid an extra $500, in which case they got to go out in Dupont with 2 pickup artists… hot damn!)
This article details the entire experience and will give you a good case of the heebie jeebies:
http://www.tbd.com/articles/2011/02/under-guidance-of-pickup-artists-men-learn-how-to-pick-themselves-up-49208.html
TMI- Again and Again
Scene: Corporate Office
Male boss takes liberty to inform conference room of constituents (mostly female) that he is dealing with a stomach bug and “nightmare explosive diarrhea”. He says this with a look of semi-pride.
Seriously, Guy? SFAR