Text Boyfriend

Occasionally we stumble upon amazing items on the Internet. Today was one of those days.

We introduce to you “Text Boyfriend,” a subscription texting service that texts subscribers “sweet” text messages 3 times per week. This, according to their marketers, is the “perfect amount of sweetness”. Subscribers can choose to receive texts from TB for a day, a week, a month, or a year. Oh, the choices!

Isn’t this exactly what you’ve been looking for, ladies? You can thank us by inviting us to your virtual wedding. In the meantime, “never be without attention” (from a computer sending randomly generated messages posing as a human).

xoxo,

SFAR!

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Background: Girl receives voicemail from a dude she doesn’t know. Girl texts dude that he has the wrong number, and receives this text in return.

                       

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Terrifying.

Great news! You can now by your wedding dress the same place you stock up on bulk mayo.

SFAR

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The Michael Vick of Sillybandz

 

Scene: 3 girls talking in a group with a few guy friends and creepy guy #1 who is pursuing girl in group.

Guy friend: I ran into this girl and she gave me a punch of sillybandz!

*Guy takes them out of pocket and accidently drops a few. Girls drop to the ground to pick them up*

Creepy Guy #1: YEAH MAKE ‘EM FIGHT FOR IT!!

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Dog Sweaters

 

 

There is just no excuse. SFAR

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Hang on, let me get the Tide Pen.

This happened to a friend of mine who shall remain nameless. Said friend went over to a fella’s house with whom she had sexual relations several times before.

Mid way through doing the deed, said friend noticed that her monthly visitor had arrived a few days earlier than she expected, and a drip or two of blood ended up on the sheets. The guy she was with stopped mid action and said, “Hang on.” He left to retrieve a TIDE PEN and proceeded to start treating the tiny blood spots. Apparently he just couldn’t wait to start treating that stain.

I guess sometimes removing a stain is more important than embracing a moment of intimacy. Needless to say, the tide pen incident killed the moment, and the lady promptly showed herself out.

SFAR.

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