Girl: Well if we have sex, I want it to be special. I don’t want to be just another notch on your belt, you know?
Guy: Oh don’t worry. I wear ribbon belts.
A friend and I recently got into a conversation about weird gifts from guys and she revealed a gem worthy of sharing. Her boyfriend of several years once bought her a charm bracelet, and with it, naturally, a few different charms to go on the bracelet. One of the charms was not like the others, because one of the charms was a tiny silver dagger.
Now, I should have started by describing my friend – she is a sweet, classy lady. She doesn’t have an interest in weaponry or medieval times or pain. She is not gothic. She is ladylike and traditional. Which is why this was so exceptionally funny. How could he get this soo wrong, and why a dagger??
I laughed so hard when she told me this and almost didn’t believe her until the next day at work when she provided the evidence at hand…
You can see it doesn’t appear to have gotten much use.
SFAR
As a middle-aged divorcee in the ’burbs, I can attest that the dating opportunities cup does not runneth over.
That said, recently, I was introduced to this guy via a friend while at a bar listening to music. We had a pleasant conversation and I agreed to meet him for dinner during the week. He’s my age and his all around package was attractive. We have a drink at the bar and so far so good. We sit down to dinner and he says to me that he is very upset over the fact that he has to sell his house because he can’t afford to pay the mortgage on such a big piece of property. He goes on to tell me that it’s more the property that he is upset about losing as he has spent the last 10 years cultivating his marijuana crop and will have to start over on unknown soil. He then proceeds to give me a lesson in how to tell the male from female plants and why it’s so important to keep weeding out the males as it makes the females (which are apparently the ones you smoke) chemicals unbalanced. To prove his point he whips out a bag and opens it up for me to take a smell as “it’s the best stuff you can get”. I politely decline and ask him to put it away. Next lesson he bestows on me is how he has discovered that he can get his best high from taking out a filament of a light bulb and smoking from the bulb. At this point I have choked down my salad and I’m thinking about how to get out of there as fast as I can. Waiter comes over and asks about dessert. He declines before I can say a word. After the waiter leaves he leans over and says, “lets go out to my car and smoke our dessert”. I went to the ladies room and left out the back door.
Really? Because shotgunning a beer with a near stranger is probably the most romantic thing I can think of!
All hail the internet, and more importantly, all hail the individuals who dedicated the time and resources needed to create a map of the world that charts average male penis size by country. Yes!
The map uses a color-coding system to differentiate countries based on the length of their males’ erect penises. As you’ll observe, there are some surprises revealed by this helpful map. Not all stereotypes are true… Many of them are…
And don’t worry, the map includes both US and Metric system measurements, so you’ll be able to accurately consider every man you’ve hooked up with regardless of what side of the pond you’re on. I mean, if you want to.
Personally, I was a little disappointed by the America’s performance. Though nothing new there, right?
Now, my first question was, where did they get these numbers from? I did my due diligence and discovered that there are references provided for each country listed via a corresponding article. The data sources (included below) are usually the Ministry of Health or a department of anthropological statistics. I am still mildly dubious about the statistics, but whatever.
This chart is fascinating and funny and someone took the time to create it!!
Have at it, lovelies. Xo SFAR
To view the map courtesy of Target Map: click Here
To view sources references: click Here
I recently met an “artist” on the street and made the poor decision to follow him to a party in Brooklyn. Upon meeting my friend, the first thing he tells her is that he is so into meditation that he meditates while receiving head. Wow. So zen. He proceeds to bounce around the party on only god knows what kinds of drugs.
Okay, so I may or may not have ended up hooking up with him anyway, at his friend’s place because he is “moving soon” to “create art” in “West Virginia” (READ: Homeless). He may or may not have just ended up pleasuring himself until he came, while covering his face with the hood of his hoodie.
SFAR.
