Douche Della Settimana (Douche of the Week): Silvio Berlusconi

Berlusconi has been on our radar for years as an aged, entitled and bloated party boy recklessly tossing aside duties to the Italian people for shadowy business relationships, corruption and blatant sex addictions (don’t worry, we’ll get to the bunga bunga parties). He’s also known for making ridiculous statements captured by the media. In 2008, for example, he complimented newly elected President Obama on his “suntan”, and in a meeting with leaders of Wall Street in 2003 encouraged investment in Italy because, ““We have the most beautiful secretaries in the world.” So clever! Barf.

This week he was recorded making a ridiculous statement yet again, particularly ridiculous in this case due to his rap sheet of exploiting women, and degrading homosexuality. Click Here to listen to the video.

For those who don’t speak Italian, Berlusconi states, “…that man realized that all of us are 25% homosexual. I am too, but after a deep exam of myself i discovered that my ‘homosexuality’ was lesbian.”

For 17 years, Silvio Berlusconi has held high court of Italy’s ruling center-right coalition. He is currently 74 years old. And yet, in recent years he’s become most known for the scores of scandals linked to him including mafia collusion, false accounting, tax fraud, corruption, bribery of police officers and judges, media censorship and exploitation of prostitution, including with underage girls.

Berlusconi’s history of sex scandals hit a peak in 2009 when he attended an 18th birthday party for Noemi Letizia, an underwear model, which led his wife Veronica Lario to file for divorce. Lario declared publically that her husband had a sex addiction problem and that she could no longer stay married to a man cavorting with underage girls and prostitutes.

On November 1, 2010, after he was alleged (yet again) to be involved in juvenile prostitution, he declared to an audience at Fiera Milano: “Don’t read newspapers anymore because they deceive you… I am a man who works hard all day long and if sometimes I use to look at some well-looking girl, it’s better to be fond of pretty girls than to be gay.” The remarks were immediately condemned by Italy’s main gay rights organization and women’s groups.

Nadia Macri, 27, who worked as an escort in Italy until 2009, is one of several women who has come out to speak about the “bunga-bunga” parties Berlusconi is now seemingly synonymous with.  “Bunga-bunga” parties are said to be a sort of underwater orgy where nude young women allegedly encircle (in Berlusconi’s case) the nude prime minister and/or his friends in his swimming pool. Macri testified that she was among a bevy of underage women present at these parties and was paid a total of €10,000 for having sex twice with Berlusconi. On one occasion, Macri was flown to Berlusconi’s Sardinian villa with around 25 other women. Each woman had her own bedroom and after dinner, she says, many of them had sex with Berlusconi or his cronies. A big shout-out to the Daily Beast for their terrific reporting on the emergence of “bunga bunga” parties in the world of Berlusconi. If you’re interested in learning more of the details, click here.

It’s always upsetting when a political leader is caught behaving as a liar and a cheat- disappointing every time. However this situation has become so unbelievably condemnable because it has gone on for so long. Imagine the sheer cost and pain thrust upon the people of Italy. And we’re not just talking about the poor women who had to see Berlusconi or one of his “cronies” in the buff.

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A New, Heinous Take on White Tees

Just when we thought white t-shirts were a pretty safe article of clothing, Gilt posted these beauties for sale last week. Not only are these t-shirts heinous, they are also completely non-utilitarian, cost $69 a pop and by the end of the auction had SOLD OUT! Sorry if you wanted to obtain one, gents, you’re going to have to turn to Ebay or a Halloween story. Can we get Jerry Seinfeld in here with his ruffly white shirt? Apparently guys need a pop culture reminder that adding ton of extra fabric to a once normally cut shirt is usually not a good idea.

Here’s hoping t-shirt ponchos and attached slings don’t become a trend.

(Source: D Magazine)

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Warning: Verbal Masturbation Causes Phlegm

Scene: Manhattan bar.

I’m visiting a fellow alum who happens to be a successful banker. We go out with some of her colleagues, and at the bar a 40-something year old man starts talking to my friends and I. Of course I continue to talk to him as he seems fairly depressed that the rest of the women in our group immediately left once he opened his mouth.

Anyway, he talks all about himself: his amazing real-estate job, how much money he makes.  I sit there, listening to him verbally masturbate for about 20 minutes, until he finally asks me what I’m doing with my life. I explain that I’m working in a lab and trying to get my ass into medical school because I want to be a surgeon. He laughs condescendingly and pats me on the knee.

To make things worse he gives me a long lecture about how the sexual/gender revolution is over, blah blah blah.  He ends this with “So. Why does a cute little girl like you want to be a surgeon?”. I pretty much lost it at this point, and appropriately told him off saying, “Oh you know, so I can cut off your BALLS.” Silence. I get up to leave, and in a last attempt to hold my attention, he yells after me: “I HAVE PHLEGM. Do you know if I’m going to die?”.

SFAR.

Lots of love from Florida!

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Song of the Day- Beyonce’s new leaked single “Girls Who Run the World”


Song of the Day- Beyonce’s new leaked single “Girls Who Run the World”

Xo

SFAR

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3rd Date Dilemma

So I went on two dates with a guy, and the first two had gone reasonably well so I agreed to a third.

At the end of the date, the guy asked me back to his place for ’after-dinner drinks.’ I accepted and we headed back to his house to cozy up on the couch.  He decided that at this point, it would probably be good to tell me he had a girlfriend, who he had been with for over a year. Nice, reallly nice.

He then tried to explain humself, saying he liked me better than this girlfriend, but didn’t want to break it off with her until he was absolutely certain that I would date him.  So, no thank you, I will not come in to your house and cozy up on the couch with you for an after-dinner drink.  I will stay single and wait for a guy that doesn’t date around to see if he can land anything better than his current girlfriend.

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Cougars and MILFs, Oh my!

The male obsession with older women has existed forever. However, sometime around 1999 a new term made its grand entry into the vocabularies of young American males, which made it not only acceptable to be into older women, it made it cool. Thanks to American Pie, a new word came to embody the hot mom, and that word was MILF (Mom I’d Like to F*ck). Before long, pubescent boys everywhere were screaming “Your mom’s a MILF!” at carpool lines, soccer parties, and sleepovers across this great nation. A few years later, the American band Fountains of Wayne brought teenage boys’ MILF fantasies to life in a video loved by many and forgotten by few.

Somewhere along the way, a word previously used to refer solely to a wild African jungle cat became the word of choice to describe women who enjoy younger men: the COUGAR.

Trying to find the connection between MILFs and these sexually free women of a certain age on the prowl? Essentially, once a MILF gets some wrinkles, discovers Botox and divorces her husband, she then becomes a COUGAR, another term that has entered the lexicon with a vengeance.

Given that older men have desired, dated and married younger women for ages, why is it that just now our culture has developed an obsession and assigned a term to attach to the older woman/younger man match? Are the words “MILF” and “Cougar” empowering, degrading, or just plain creepy?

Whatever your opinion, here are a few general rules should follow when throwing around the terms MILF and Cougar (or dealing with them in the flesh).

1) If you’re into a girl, never refer to her mom as a MILF. This will immediately put the mental image of you having sex with her mom into her mind, which is just effing disgusting.
2) If your mom doesn’t know what the term MILF means by now, you should probably refrain from telling her. Ignorance is bliss, and you should not cuss in front of your own mother! Tisk tisk! She will probably beg you to tell her, but once you do, it won’t be worth it and will create mucho awkwardness.
3) If you want to hook up with an older woman, be respectful. She is a human being and more mature than you. Oh, and if she has kids, make sure you’ve never hooked up with any of them.
4) Older women- sexual as they might be- are people, just like you. Calm your testosterone urges and tame your desire to bed someone just because you could say you hooked up with a cougar. Stacy’s Mom came out over eight years ago, get over it!

www.skinnyscoop.com

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