Category Archives: Douchey Comments

Boo! I’m your date, and I’m an asshole.

I met a guy downtown one Saturday night and was excited to learn we’d both gone to college in Boston. It was a fun scene with good music, so we chatted. When I’d decided it was late and time for … Continue reading

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Douche of the Week: Albert Haynesworth

                 Despite the fact that we are sports fans, Haynesworth was not on our radar until earlier this week. And now that he is, we have many things to say. For those who don’t know, Redskins defensive tackle Albert … Continue reading

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Donkey Dick/ Horse Pat

Scene: Lower East Side rockers bar, the one where Lady Gaga’s boyfriend is the bartender (read: Bros/ Wallstreeters are not allowed) I’m sitting at the bar with a couple of friends. Above the bar there is a sign on the wall that … Continue reading

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Warning: Verbal Masturbation Causes Phlegm

Scene: Manhattan bar. I’m visiting a fellow alum who happens to be a successful banker. We go out with some of her colleagues, and at the bar a 40-something year old man starts talking to my friends and I. Of course I … Continue reading

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Dogs > Boyfriends

               After a girl had been dating her boyfriend for a few months, she felt him becoming withdrawn and he wasn’t paying her alot of attention. Aiming to get to the bottom of the situation, said girl confronted her boyfriend … Continue reading

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Backhanded Compliment?

Guy: “I like your laugh. I can see how other people would find it extremely annoying, but I think it’s cute.”

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