Older, Not Wiser

I met this guy at a back-to-school event. He’s a grad student in my department, I’m an undergrad. I’d never seen him around, as there’s not a ton of crossover between the graduate students & undergrads in our programs. But we got along well, and he got my number at the end of the night.

A few days later, he calls? texts? I can’t remember, asking me out for a drink at the on-campus bar. I was game, so I said sure, and we met up there. He was a bit awkward, but we started chatting. At some point early in the evening, he mentioned that I “”look like I’m 14 (this should have been a tip-off… ) A. Thanks? B. I gather that to mean he finds 14 year-old girls attractive. Creepy. But of course, this is in hindsight… Continue reading

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Song of the Day: Foundations

Song of the Day: Foundations, by Kate Nash.


To download this and other songs by Nash on iTunes: click here



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Funny or Die: Tinder Too

Several social media apps enable millenials to meet new people with a few pushes of a button on their smart phones.  Tinder, as one popular example, is an app that connects interested singles with the friends of their friends using individuals’ Facebook data. So, if you’re connected on Tinder, you can see who in your general radius of “acquaintances” is somewhere nearby and arrange to meet up.

Lulu is another popular app which encourages users to rate guys they’ve dated in the past using a series of multiple choice questions. They are both imperfect apps, and particularly with Tinder, the question of safety and real dating legitimacy can be strongly questioned. Will meeting up with a random guy (who knows someone you know) at a bar because he’s in your vicinity lead to romance? Maybe. And maybe NOT. Funny or Die give their take on it in this hilarious new video. Check it out:


 xo SFAR
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Happy 4th From An Anonymous Dick

What does American Independence Day mean to you? Does it mean waking up to an uninvited dick pic from a stranger? Nope, us either! This happened to one of our dear friends this morning. And boy did she handle it well…

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Summer Playlist: Later Dude! Addition

We’re supremely lucky at SFAR that one of our co-founders is related to a bomb ass DJ. Said disc jockey, DJ Shmalifornia of KSPC in Claremont, CA has compiled the first of several sum-sum-summer mixes for SFAR listeners.

The theme of this mix is breaking up, moving on and the awakening when one realizes they are SO much better off without whoever the fuck broke their heart. There is nothing sad about this mix. We’re better than that.

Stay tuned for playlists throughout the season. And most importantly, dance it out!

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Artist: Ro.Ma

Summer Playlist: Later Dude! Addition


SFAR and DJ Shmalifornia

Artist: Ro.Ma, check his work out here: http://romaarte.tumblr.com/. We’re in love!

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Bitchy Resting & Resting Asshole Face

Without calling it an epidemic, these faces are common. “Bitchy Resting Face” (a true and crippling female syndrome) and “Resting Asshole Face” (prevalent and debilitating for men).  Both happen. Neither are your fault.

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Song of the Day: Out Of My League

fitz-and-the-tantrums-out-of-my-leagueSong of the Day: Fitz and the Tantrums, “Out of My League”

Such a fucking great jam.



To listen to our other Fitz and the Tantrums SOTDs: click here

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“Yo Let’s Text For Awhile and Maybe Hook Up”

This was submitted from a reader in San Francisco who found it on jwz.org. Ring any bells? We love this a lot…


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Bragging Cheater Exposed on Social Media

Stephanie Strayer was riding the train from Philadelphia when she allegedly overheard a man loudly bragging to his friends about the extramarital affairs he was having, and how stupid his wife was for not figuring it out. This allegedly went on for quite some time. Outraged by his pompous and piggish display, Stephanie Strayer snapped a photo of the braggard and posted on Facebook with the following message:


“If this is your husband, I have endured a 2 hour train ride from Philadelphia listening to this loser and his friends brag about their multiple affairs and how their wives are too stupid to catch on. Oh please repost …”

At the time of posting this, Strayer’s photo has had 262,849 shares on Facebook!

Bloggers and social commentators have been talking about the story in the past couple of days and questioning the roles of social media, cheating, privacy, etc. It’s an increasingly relevant topic for discussion.

It should go without saying that we are 100% on Strayer’s side…

The guy’s reported behavior was not only gross, it was rude to other passengers. I’d say it’s impressive Strayer didn’t go further and confront him for being a pig.

Online communication and cell phones and social media are impacting interpersonal relationships more than ever. It is said that something like 1 in 3 divorces are now caused by Facebook. Some people have said it’s not fair to post the photo of the man and relay his claims of audultery because there’s a possibility he wasn’t telling the truth, and just lying to impress his friends. Well if I was his wife, I would want to know that too, because that would show me that my husband was a juvenile asshole. By broadcasting his claims in a public place, he knowlingly opened himself up to scrutiny by speaking loudly and about a topic that nearby passengers could clearly find objectionable.

For the woman married to the man in the photo (if he is married), I understand thatStrayer catching wind of this story through social media or the news could be extremely embarassing and upsetting. Given the tone of her caption, it is clear to me that Strayer (pictured right) posted the photo the way she did because she did not know the man’s wife. If she did, I’m sure she would have gone to her directly with this information. Her use of social media was the only way she could think of to try to get the info back to the wife.

I’ve been cheated on before. It was extremely painful and heartbreaking, and though it was hard to hear, I am forever grateful to the friend who had the guts to tell me what was going on. I felt really deceived by other people who had caught wind of my boyfriend’s cheating and chose not to tell me. I think Strayer is great for uploading the photo and message and I’m so glad it has been shared as much as it has.

The ladies of ABC’s “The View” discussed this story on today’s episode. While most of the women agreed with Strayer, they engaged in a good debate about the incident. You can watch their discussion here.

What would you have done in this situation? Have you been in a similar situation dealing with infidelity? Click below to submit a comment. And send in your thoughts and stories anonymously to submit@singleforareason.com.


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Narcissist with a Side of Shakespeare

1158260369_3ba07950e5I was actually friends with a guy for four years before we started dating, which is why I was so surprised at how disappointing the entire experience was. First of all – he was incredibly weird in a dating context. He left me clues in Shakespearean code on one of the dates in order to try to find him – such as, “thine body waits for thou at the bubbling water fountain”… Continue reading

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