Psycho (Suit) Killer

I got together with a girl I met on OkCupid for a drink. She seemed cool and normal at first and I was rather enjoying her company. After about 15 minutes of conversation, she tells me she has a confession. The girl proceeds to tell me about her most recent relationship which ended two weeks ago.

She met her last boyfriend on OkCupid and the guy told her he loved her at the end of their first date and said that he wanted to marry her. She said she didn’t really like the guy but decided to pity date him (didn’t know there was such a thing) because she felt bad for him. After their second date, he gave her a key to his apartment and they proceeded to hang out every night for the next three weeks. They were supposed to get together one night for dinner and the guy stood her up and ignored her calls. He disappeared for two days and then called her out of the blue telling her that he was now getting back with his his ex-girlfriend and needed his key back. Furious, my date went to the guys house, went into his closet and ripped up all of his suits with a pair of scissors.

After my date told me this story she asked me if I would ever stand her up. I replied, of course not, what do you think I’m psycho? She replied that I seemed pretty normal which is great because she tended to date crazy people.

“It’s a good thing I’m normal,” I said, as I quickly tried to think of an excuse to eject myself before my suits came under threat.

Needless to say there was no second date.

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