Single for a Reason

Breakups are an unpleasant and inevitable part of life. In their best form, you come to the mutual decision the pairing “isn’t working out” and part amicably or at least on neutral ground. In their worst form, breakups are earth shattering experiences where you find yourself rejected by the person you thought you would spend the rest of your life with and sitting on your stoop with moving boxes. If this applies to you, I’m extremely sorry for your loss. It may not feel like it now, but your life is moving forward and better things are yet to come. If I’ve learned one relationship lesson in my life it is this: if someone tells you they don’t want to be in your life, let them go. They don’t deserve another ounce of you.

Here are 6 tried-and-true methods for surviving and getting through a breakup…

#1. Remove your ex’s stuff from your space. All photos of your ex and items that remind you of him/her need to be removed from your home. Did you always stock his favorite soda in your fridge? (I did). Get rid of it. Give it away. Cute photo from your last vacation? Store it in the closet. If you have items of theirs that need to be returned (clothes, toiletries, etc.) get to the post office and send that shit back. The U.S. Postal Service is your friend. Make steps to re-establish your space as YOUR sanctuary free of imagery or gifts that remind you of them. It’s understandable that this process may be difficult, but your ex is not worth the constant heartache of seeing their photos and personal items- particularly in your own home. You don’t have to forget the memories, but give yourself a break. This step is key and must happen swiftly!

#2. Stay busy. As much as you want to hide under your comforter, this behavior needs to be kept to a minimum. It’s only going to make you feel worse and allow you to obsess over every last word and interaction, which let’s be real, you can’t take back or change. Get out of the house, meet up with a friend, take a power walk, go to a comedy show, go to the movies, cook a meal, call your grandmother. Be open with people you trust, it’s important to be able to express that the breakup has happened and you’re working to move forward. At the same time, don’t wallow. Life is too short. More detailed suggestions on that below.

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