Once upon a January 2012, an eager wannabe Wall Street guy sent a cover letter and resume to JP Morgan. After spouting unbelievably embarrassing and self-aggrandizing sentiments about his intellectual superiority and physical aptitude, he closed the letter with the standard, “I look forward to hearing from you”. We’re not sure he anticipated hearing from them via the internet after his letter circulated to hundreds of people.
A few comments. For starters, we would definitely enjoy seeing him perform basic office functions with terrifying efficiency. Secondly, 35 pull ups is not a lot, buddy. We know women’s athletic teams that require more than that. And lastly, you are a douche.