Hard Economic Times

I was in a bar in the East Village with some friends, and the following led to insight about the economy and an unforeseen aspect of ‘normalcy’ in NYC. 

So, at the bar, my friends decided it was a good idea to abandon me to make a quick trip to the loo. I was left with no one to talk to except the bartender.  To paint a picture of the bartender, she had a completely shaved head, blow-out bangs and multiple facial piercings. (I am not suggesting that everyone should look like a J.Crew model, but I am not exactly the ‘edgy-est’ of characters.) The ice breaker I brilliantly decided to word-vomit unto the world: “Tell me something interesting about yourself.” 

Her reply, “I used to be a dominatrix for ten years.”

Great start.

Unfortunately, the general absurdity of the reply rendered me incapable of a response brighter than “Oh….coooool….how’d that turn out for you?” 

The bartender, far from pleased by my continued attempt in converse said, “It was great until the economic downturn, and then no one wanted to pay for kinky sex anymore.”

Thankfully my friends returned, cutting this exercise in self-humiliation short. But despite the awkwardness of the conversation, and the death stare the bartender shot me for the remainder of the evening, I thought to myself, at least I have a hilariously awkward story to tell people.  

However, when I decided to roll this gem of a story out the following Monday at work, my coworker’s response was, well, unexpected.

“Well, she’s right. My friend who’s into S&M said the same thing about the recession.”

Am I the only one NOT in touch with the S&M world of Manhattan? If yes, SO BE IT.

SFAR, and sorry Rihanna, S&M-free-FAR too.

This entry was posted in For the Fellas, This is Awkward. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.